Not 30, but flirty and not really thriving

Not 30, but flirty and not really thriving

Hello lovely,

We really hope you are keeping well and safe during this time. It didn’t feel too natural to bring a journal entry around hot fashion takes and tips, considering our attires have quickly become hoodies and sweatpants - nestled at home. 

But as a promise of keeping this place as a very real and raw place of thought, here is a snippet (hopefully relatable) of my recent week in lockdown.

 

    

Not 30, but flirty and not really thriving
By Julianna Permitin

It definitely took a few peppermint teas, gazes outside, playlist re-runs to sit down and decide, what on earth can I write about? 

A week ago, life was fast, fruity and thriving. Miky and I were gearing up to bring you a journal entry discussing those statement pieces that are worth the investment in our wardrobes. Keep that in the back pocket!

Today, I am sitting in my fluffy robe with a dress shirt on, Lulu leggings on the bottom. Fashion during lockdown really is business on the top, comfort below. And that is okay by me. 

Life is moving in slo-mo, weeks clumping together like mascara after a cry. Coconut flat-whites have turned into plunger coffee. Dinners out with pals have turned into blowing the dust off the baking. But I’ll tell you something, my TikTok is continuing to read my fortune, telling me I am bound to meet the love of my life in the next 48 hrs. Guess who will be putting up their hand to do the supermarket shop? 

All jokes aside, a sense of intense ‘to-do energy’ circulated my brain when we initially went into lockdown. 

“I should really finish Princess Diana’s autobiography.”

“I will start writing the novel I want to finish by the time I’m 30.”

“Should I pick up Spanish again, considering I took it in high-school?”

“I am definitely going to lose my peach without having barre classes around.”

Weekends are a natural shock to the system. Zoom quiz nights are back in order. But once the evening ends, I’m just beginning to get giggly (after a few wines), throwing my hands up to Doja Cat, there is no call for an Uber. 

Instead, I waddle over to the bathroom and embark on a full step by step skincare routine and head on the pillow by 10 pm, with a 9+ hour sleep. Who is she? 

As a 93% extrovert (according to a personality test I did), this side of the rule is new but one I am getting amongst.

And then there was the night we held an angel card reading. That’s right, six gal pals around a Zoom link reaching out to the angels for their guidance. Twin flame cards were drawn, sage was lit and without a doubt the angels picked up that I have some past relationship trauma that I am having to work through. No surprises there! With life being on the mundane side, I can’t help but process these feelings, yikes. 

But also this is probably the best time to do so. Plot twist, I’m still figuring out how the hell to do so as I don’t think purchasing yet another blazer is going to help. 

But beyond this witchy witchy ritual, I am learning just how extremely special it is to have girlfriends - ones you can talk about the ins and outs of emotional baggage, the yikes and the icks of life. So many learnings!

Speaking of twin flames, comes being single in lockdown. Which is a completely new experience for me, let alone dating. It’s a bit of a laugh from both parties really. Instead of deciding whether I am taking The Staple or From Me, To Me bag out to dinner, I’m ensuring my wifi is going to reach my room for my Face-Time date. Where you are also building that fling through a screen, laughing and saying “yeah I couldn’t get any gluten free bread today either”. A real romance builder isn’t it? 

Although wasting my delightful twenties in lockdown is kidnapping the “I’m here” butterflies and that final spray of perfume before jolting out to meeting him outside, you are forced to really get to know the person - without falling into an intoxicating, lust routine. So, I am taking a leaf out of Jane Austen’s morals. 

Connection is the key player in all of this. It feels like 24 hours in a day drags on and on. Who knew, there is now time to call my parents, rather than <<heart >> reacting to their WhatsApp messages and saving it for a ‘free moment’. I have been a victim of my own game at this. 

And only from this past week, I’ve realised that the best thing to do is to just slow it down. If the tick of achievement is devouring your flat mate’s caramel slice, that is a (delicious) win. I even decided to buy some flowers for myself from the local superette, because I had never thought of doing so in a ‘normal’ setting. But why the heck not? 

There have been tears. Jeepers there have been a bunch of tears. I counted that I have cried more in this lockdown than the past six months. But it's important to let the water works pass and accept the feelings flowing in. Perhaps writing them out (although painful)? It’ll make an incredible reflection session once this is over. Better yet, I might read out these passages on my flat mate’s bed a few wines in. Then comes the reward, eating away a whole tub of Halo Top. Because, that is also a form of self-care!

I like to think that once we are out of this journey, it’ll be a huge reset to enjoy those little things. The ham and cheese croissant pick-up on a Saturday morning, to zipping up those leather boots, throwing all your ‘essentials’ into your purse and heading out for an espresso martini, with that pen pal gentleman you’ve been messaging. 

So on behalf of rey, we really hope you are taking it easy, ensuring you have those key little things that bring you joy - I mean in my humble opinion, online shopping counts. It might take a few extra days but the parcel will still arrive, in time. Just like everything else.

With love,
Julianna